Contact Rights in Germany (Umgangsrecht): The Child's Right, Not Just a Parent's

Anglo readers usually think of contact with a child after separation as something a parent has, an entitlement the parent holds and can choose to use or not. German law frames it the other way round, and that framing is the single most important thing to understand about Umgangsrecht.

§ 1684 Abs. 1 BGB states it in one sentence: the child has the right of contact with each parent, and each parent is both entitled and obliged to have contact with the child. Contact is the child's right first. For the parent it is not only a right but a duty, something a parent is legally expected to actually do, not merely permitted to do if they feel like it.

This page works through what that duty actually requires, when a court can restrict or exclude contact, how supervised contact works, who besides a parent can claim contact, and how contact is actually enforced when one parent will not cooperate.

Information last verified on 19 July 2026. This page provides general legal information and does not constitute legal advice in an individual case.

The child's right, and a parent's duty: § 1684 Abs. 1 BGB

§ 1684 Abs. 1 BGB does two things in a single sentence. It gives the child a right of contact with each parent, and it makes contact both a right and an obligation for each parent. That second half is easy to skim past, but it is deliberate: German law does not treat a parent's absence from a child's life as simply a private choice the other parent has to accept.

In practice this means a resident parent generally cannot simply decide the other parent should not see the child, absent a welfare based reason a court accepts, and the non resident parent is expected to actually exercise contact, not treat it as optional. Contact typically runs on a schedule the parents agree between themselves, mediated where needed, or set by the Familiengericht where they cannot agree; § 1684 Abs. 3 BGB explicitly gives the family court the power to decide the scope of the right and regulate how it is exercised, including as against third parties such as a parent's new partner or a grandparent who has physical custody of the child at the time.

The Wohlverhaltensgebot: each parent must protect the other's relationship with the child

§ 1684 Abs. 2 BGB places a second, distinct obligation on both parents, usually called the Wohlverhaltensgebot (duty of good conduct). Each parent must refrain from anything that damages the child's relationship with the other parent or makes raising the child more difficult, and the same duty applies where the child is in the care of someone else, such as a grandparent or foster carer.

This is the statutory basis German courts use against what is often called parental alienation in English language discussion, meaning a parent who badmouths the other parent to the child, sabotages handover, or otherwise undermines the child's relationship with them. A parent who persistently violates this duty risks the same enforcement tools discussed later on this page, and in serious cases can affect how a court later decides custody itself.

When a court can restrict or exclude contact: § 1684 Abs. 4 BGB

German law does not treat contact as unconditional. § 1684 Abs. 4 BGB lets a family court restrict or exclude the right of contact, or the enforcement of an earlier contact decision, where necessary for the child's welfare (Kindeswohl).

The statute then draws a sharp distinction by duration. An ordinary restriction only needs to be necessary for the child's welfare. A restriction or exclusion for a longer period, or on a permanent basis, needs something more: the court must find that the child's welfare would otherwise actually be endangered (gefährdet). That second, higher bar exists precisely so that a long term cut off from a parent is reserved for serious situations, such as documented abuse or a genuine, well founded risk to the child, rather than ordinary post separation conflict between the parents.

Supervised contact: begleiteter Umgang

Rather than excluding contact altogether, § 1684 Abs. 4 BGB gives a court a specific middle option: ordering that contact only take place in the presence of a cooperating third party. This is what is generally called begleiteter Umgang, supervised or accompanied contact.

The statute allows that third party to be a youth welfare provider (Träger der Jugendhilfe) or an association, in which case the organisation itself decides which individual person actually carries out the supervision. In practice, supervised contact is used where a court wants a parent to keep some relationship with the child while a specific, identified risk (for example around substance use, a history of conflict, or a period of reintroducing contact after a long gap) is managed by having a neutral adult present throughout each visit.

Contact rights beyond the parents: § 1685 BGB

Parents are not the only people who can claim contact with a child. § 1685 Abs. 1 BGB gives grandparents and siblings a right of contact with the child, but only where contact serves the child's welfare (dem Wohl des Kindes dient).

§ 1685 Abs. 2 BGB extends the same right to other close reference persons (enge Bezugspersonen) who actually carry, or carried, real responsibility for the child, described in the statute as a sozial-familiäre Beziehung. The statute gives a concrete example of when that is normally assumed: where the person has lived together with the child in a shared household for a lengthy period, which in practice covers a step parent or a parent's former long term partner who genuinely helped raise the child.

The test in § 1685 is meaningfully narrower than the parental right in § 1684. A parent's right of contact does not depend on proving the contact positively serves the child's welfare; a grandparent, sibling, or other close person has to affirmatively show that it does. § 1685 Abs. 3 BGB applies most of § 1684's machinery, including restriction, exclusion and supervised contact, equally to these other claimants, though an Umgangspflegschaft against a non parent can only be ordered where the stricter child endangerment threshold in § 1666 Abs. 1 BGB is actually met.

When a parent will not cooperate: the Umgangspflegschaft

§ 1684 Abs. 3 BGB gives the family court a specific enforcement tool short of going to court every time contact breaks down. Where a parent durably or repeatedly and seriously breaches the Wohlverhaltensgebot described above, the court can order an Umgangspflegschaft, appointing a person with the specific, limited authority to demand the child be handed over for contact and to determine where the child stays for the duration of that contact.

An Umgangspflegschaft is time limited by law; the court has to set an end date when it makes the order, rather than leaving it open ended. Compensation and expenses for the appointed Umgangspfleger are set by reference to the same rules that apply to a professional guardian, referenced in § 1684 Abs. 3 through the FamFG and the Vormünder- und Betreuervergütungsgesetz.

Before a fine: the Vermittlungsverfahren under § 165 FamFG

Before a court reaches for a fine, a parent whose contact is being frustrated or made difficult by the other parent can apply for a Vermittlungsverfahren, a formal conciliation hearing, under § 165 FamFG. The court summons both parents to appear in person, explains what continued non compliance can lead to, including Ordnungsmittel and restrictions on parental custody itself, and tries to bring the parents to an agreement on the record.

If that hearing produces no agreement, or a parent simply does not show up, the court formally records that the Vermittlungsverfahren failed and then considers Ordnungsmittel, a change to the contact arrangement, or measures affecting custody. This step exists alongside the court's general duty under § 156 FamFG to work toward agreement between the parents throughout a contact case wherever that does not conflict with the child's welfare, and it is often the actual first step a frustrated parent takes before asking for enforcement under § 89 FamFG below.

Enforcement: Ordnungsgeld and Ordnungshaft under § 89 FamFG

Where a parent simply ignores a court order on contact or on handing over the child, enforcement runs through § 89 FamFG, not through the older Zwangsgeld mechanism that used to apply to this kind of order. The court can impose an Ordnungsgeld (a coercive fine) on the parent in breach, and if that fine cannot actually be collected, it can order Ordnungshaft, coercive detention, instead. If a fine is unlikely to have any effect from the outset, the court can go straight to ordering Ordnungshaft.

§ 89 Abs. 3 FamFG caps a single Ordnungsgeld at EUR 25,000. Both remedies require the underlying order that granted contact or required handover to have already warned the parent of the consequences of non compliance, and § 89 Abs. 4 FamFG spares a parent who can show they were not actually responsible for the breach, for example a documented illness that genuinely prevented handover.

Contact and maintenance are legally independent

One of the most common and most damaging misconceptions in practice is treating contact and child maintenance as a single package that can be traded against each other. They are not. A parent's obligation to pay child maintenance flows from § 1601 BGB and is assessed independently of whether the other parent allows contact. A parent's right to contact under § 1684 BGB does not depend on maintenance being paid in full and on time either.

In practice this means a resident parent cannot lawfully withhold contact because maintenance is late or disputed, and a paying parent cannot lawfully withhold maintenance because contact has been reduced or refused. Each is pursued and enforced through its own separate legal process, and a parent who tries to use one as leverage over the other is acting outside what German family law actually permits, whatever the emotional logic might suggest in the moment.

For how child maintenance itself is actually calculated, see the Düsseldorfer Tabelle child support tables. For the wider divorce process these disputes often arise inside, see divorce in Germany, and for the surrounding law on parental responsibility, see custody in Germany. For the wider picture of German family law, see the Germany law hub.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is contact with a child a parent's right or the child's right in Germany?

It is framed as the child's right first. § 1684 Abs. 1 BGB gives the child a right of contact with each parent, and separately makes each parent both entitled and obliged to have that contact, meaning a parent is expected to actually exercise it, not merely permitted to.

Can a resident parent simply stop the other parent from seeing the child?

Not on their own decision. A family court can restrict or exclude contact under § 1684 Abs. 4 BGB only where necessary for the child's welfare, and a long term or permanent restriction requires that the child's welfare would otherwise actually be endangered, a considerably higher bar than ordinary post separation friction.

What is begleiteter Umgang (supervised contact)?

It is contact that a family court orders to take place only in the presence of a cooperating third party, such as a youth welfare provider or association, under § 1684 Abs. 4 BGB. Courts use it where some relationship with a parent should continue but a specific, identified risk needs a neutral adult present throughout.

Can grandparents or a step parent claim contact with a child?

Yes, under § 1685 BGB. Grandparents and siblings have a right of contact where it serves the child's welfare, and other close reference persons with an established social and family bond to the child, commonly a step parent or a parent's former long term partner, can claim the same right if they genuinely carried real responsibility for the child.

What happens if a parent keeps refusing to hand over the child for contact?

The family court can appoint an Umgangspflegschaft under § 1684 Abs. 3 BGB, a time limited appointment with the specific power to demand the child be handed over for contact. Separately, the court can impose an Ordnungsgeld of up to EUR 25,000 under § 89 FamFG, and Ordnungshaft if a fine cannot be collected.

Can I withhold child maintenance if the other parent is blocking contact?

No. Contact under § 1684 BGB and child maintenance under § 1601 BGB are legally independent obligations. Withholding maintenance because contact is refused, or withholding contact because maintenance is unpaid, is not a lawful response under German family law and each has to be pursued through its own separate process.

Does an unmarried father automatically get contact and custody?

Contact under § 1684 BGB applies to every parent regardless of marital status. Joint legal custody for unmarried parents is a separate question governed by § 1626a BGB, which by default leaves sole custody with the mother unless the parents make joint custody declarations, marry, or a family court grants joint custody on application.