Romance Scams: Warning Signs and What to Do If You Sent Money

A romance scam is a fake relationship built to get your money. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) says romance scammers "create fake profiles on dating sites and apps or contact you through popular social media sites like Instagram or Facebook," build trust, and "Then, they make up a story and ask for money." The FBI's rule is short: "Never send money to anyone you have only communicated with online or by phone."

The signs the FTC and FBI point to most are a person who can't meet you in person, feelings that run fast and early, pressure to move off the dating app and away from the people around you, a sudden crisis that needs money, and talk of investing, often in cryptocurrency. In 2025 the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) received 23,159 complaints in its confidence/romance category, with $929,287,469 in reported losses. That category also covers grandparent scams, so not every dollar is from a romance.

If you already sent money: stop sending more and stop talking to the person. Contact the bank, card issuer, app or transfer company you used right away and ask for your money back. Report it to the FBI at ic3.gov and to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov, and report the profile to the app or site where you met. Our guide on how to get money back after a scam explains what each payment method allows.

Information last verified on October 2, 2026. This article has not been reviewed by a licensed lawyer.

Jurisdiction scope: This article covers United States federal law and federal agency guidance on romance scams: the federal wire fraud statute (18 U.S.C. § 1343) and the attempt and conspiracy statute (18 U.S.C. § 1349), plus published warnings from the FTC, the FBI and its Internet Crime Complaint Center, and Army CID. It does not cover state criminal or civil laws, the policies of individual dating apps, or scams reported outside the United States. Refund rights by payment method are covered on our money-back guide, not here.

Warning signs of a romance scam

The FTC and FBI describe the same pattern in their own words. One sign alone proves nothing; several together, especially once money comes up, are the reason the FBI and FTC tell people to stop and check.

• They can't meet you in person. The FTC says: "Scammers say they can't meet you in person. They might say they're living or traveling outside the country, working on an oil rig, in the military, or working with an international organization." The FBI adds that scammers "may propose marriage and make plans to meet in person, but that will never happen," and that "If you haven't met the person after a few months, for whatever reason, you have good reason to be suspicious."
• Feelings move fast. The FBI's IC3 lists "Claims that your introduction was 'destiny' or 'fate,' especially early in communication." The FBI also says to beware "if the individual seems too perfect."
• They want to leave the dating site. The FBI warns about someone who "quickly asks you to leave a dating service or social media site to communicate directly." The IC3 lists "Immediate requests to talk or chat on an email or messaging service outside of the dating site."
• They pull you away from family and friends. The FBI says to beware if the person "attempts to isolate you from friends and family." The FTC's first check is the opposite move: "Talk to someone you trust. Do your friends or family say they're concerned about your new love interest?"
• A crisis that needs money. In its April 2026 data spotlight, the FTC says scammers often tailor their act to a person's profile, "later inventing a crisis requiring money." The FBI says that eventually, "they will ask for money."
• Talk of investing, especially crypto. The FTC says romance scammers "may even offer to help you get started in cryptocurrency investing." See the crypto section below.
• They want your bank account. The FBI: "If someone you meet online needs your bank account information to deposit money, they are most likely using your account to carry out other theft and fraud schemes."
• Profile details that recur in scams. The IC3 lists "Claims to be recently widowed or claims to be a U.S. service member serving overseas" and a profile that "Disappears suddenly from the site then reappears under a different name using the same profile information."

The FBI also warns about requests for "inappropriate photos or financial information that could later be used to extort you." If someone is threatening to share intimate images, see our guide to sextortion scams.

Pro tip: The FTC suggests a reverse image search of the person's profile picture: "Is it associated with another name or with details that don't match up?" The IC3 notes that "most dating site administrators do not conduct criminal background checks when an account is registered."

How romance scammers ask for money

The request usually comes after weeks or months of daily contact. The FTC says scammers build trust, "sometimes talking or chatting several times a day," before the story and the request arrive.

The FTC lists how they ask to be paid: "They'll tell you to wire money through a company like Western Union or MoneyGram, put money on gift cards (like Amazon, Google Play, iTunes, or Steam) and give them the PIN codes, send money through a money transfer app, or transfer cryptocurrency." These methods are hard to reverse once the money is gone; see our pages on gift card scams and Zelle and payment app scams.

The FTC's rule of thumb: "Never send money or gifts to a sweetheart you haven't met in person." In a 2023 alert, the FTC put it more bluntly: if an online love interest asks you for money, especially using gift cards, wire transfers, payment apps or cryptocurrency, "that's a scam. Period."

Catfishing and romance scams: what is the difference?

"Catfishing" is an informal word for pretending to be someone else online, usually with someone else's photos. It is not a legal category, and not every fake profile asks for money.

A romance scam is the version aimed at money or valuables. The FBI describes it this way: "a criminal uses a fake online identity to gain a victim's affection and trust. The scammer then uses the illusion of a romantic or close relationship to manipulate and/or steal from the victim." Whether a fake profile with no money involved breaks any law depends on state law, which this page does not cover.

When a romance turns into a crypto investment scam

Many romance scams now end on a fake trading platform instead of a plain request for cash. The FTC's April 2026 data spotlight describes scammers "later inventing a crisis requiring money or casually offering investment advice to draw them onto a fake investment platform."

Federal and industry regulators treat these as one family. In a September 10, 2024 joint investor alert, the SEC, CFTC, FINRA and NASAA said relationship investment scams are "sometimes referred to by various terms including romance scams, 'cryptocurrency' investment scams, financial grooming scams, and even the distasteful term 'pig butchering scams.'"

The FBI's 2025 Internet Crime Report describes the ending: fake profits on the platform, then "taxes and fees" when the victim tries to withdraw. Do not pay a fee or tax to unlock a withdrawal. Our guide to crypto and investment scams walks through how these platforms work and where to report them.

When a romance scammer asks to use your bank account

Some romance scammers want your account more than your savings. In a 2019 public service announcement, the IC3 warned that "the victim may be unknowingly recruited as a 'money mule': someone who transfers money illegally on behalf of others. Actors groom their victims over time and convince them to open bank accounts under the guise of sending or receiving funds."

The same announcement describes the setup: "The victim is asked to open a bank account or register a limited liability company in the victim's name and then to receive and send money from that account to other accounts controlled by the actor."

The FBI's money mule page says people sometimes move money "because they believe they have a trusting or romantic relationship with the individual who is asking for help," and that unwitting mules are "Often solicited via an online romance scheme or job offer." Its test is simple: "If you are moving money at the direction of another person, you may be serving as a money mule."

This matters because the FBI warns that "Acting as a money mule is illegal and punishable, even if you aren't aware you're committing a crime," and that "you may be held personally liable for repaying money lost by victims." That is the FBI's warning, not a prediction about any one person; what happens in a given case depends on the facts, including what the person knew.

If someone you met online has been sending money through your account, stop moving money for them, tell your bank, and report it to ic3.gov. If law enforcement contacts you, talk to a lawyer before you respond. Our guide to money mule and fake check scams explains the federal laws involved.

Military romance scams

Pretending to be a deployed soldier is a romance script the FTC, the IC3 and Army CID all warn about. In a July 2023 alert, the FTC said: "These scammers may steal photos of real military personnel for their profiles. They might say they need cash to apply for a 'leave request' to visit you. Or to pay for food and medical treatment during their deployment."

The FTC's answer: "(Servicemembers never have to pay to get packages, food, medical treatment, or to take leave.)"

In a February 2, 2018 release, Army CID said that it "receives notifications from individuals stating they were scammed online by someone claiming to be a Soldier, but in reality it was an online scammer who has used an unsuspected Soldier's name and available social media photos to commit a crime." CID adds that "Scammers steal the identity of senior officers, enlisted personnel and civilians," and calls the scheme "'trust-based relationship scams,' also known as Romance Scams."

The real soldier in the photos is usually a victim too. CID's advice to people whose identity is used: "Victims should contact the social media platform (company) and report the false profile."

What to do if you sent money to a romance scammer

Act in this order. Speed matters most for money that may still be moving.

1. Stop sending money and stop contact. The FTC says: "Stop communicating with the person immediately." The FBI says: "If you've been victimized, stop all contact with the scammer immediately."
2. Contact the company you paid through, right away. The FTC says: "If you paid a romance scammer with a gift card, wire transfer, credit or debit card, or cryptocurrency, contact the company or your bank right away. Tell them you paid a scammer and ask them to refund your money." The IC3 also advises asking your bank "to stop or reverse the transactions" and asking it "to contact the corresponding financial institution where the fraudulent or suspicious transfer was sent."
3. Tell someone you trust. The FTC recommends it as a check on the relationship. It also helps you take the next steps calmly. Being targeted by a professional scammer is not a personal failing.
4. Report the profile to the app or site. The FTC says: "Notify the social networking site or app where you met the scammer, too." The IC3 says to "Report the activity to the website where the contact was first initiated."
5. Report to the FBI and the FTC. The FBI says: "Visit ic3.gov, the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3), to report romance scams." The FTC takes reports at ReportFraud.ftc.gov. Our guide on where to report a scam explains what each agency does with a report.
6. Keep records. Save the profile name and photos, usernames, messages, and every receipt, transaction ID and wallet address. Reports and refund requests both go better with a paper trail.
7. Expect a second approach. People who lost money are targeted again by fake recovery services (next section).

If the person also has your Social Security number, account logins or ID documents, see a scammer has my information.

Can you get money back from a romance scam?

Sometimes, and it depends on how you paid. The FTC's honest framing: "If you paid a scammer, your money might be gone already. But it's always worth asking the company you used to send the money if there's a way to get it back."

The rules differ for credit cards, debit and bank transfers, payment apps, wires, gift cards and crypto. Our money-back guide covers each, and if your bank has already said no, see what to do when a bank refuses a scam refund.

Watch out: recovery scams after a romance scam

A romance scam often has a second act. The FTC says: "Scammers buy lists of people who've paid scammers. They call it a 'sucker list.'" The follow-up caller offers to get your money back, for a fee.

The FTC's rules for spotting it:

• "Did someone contact you and ask for an upfront fee? That's a scammer."
• "Government agencies and legitimate organizations will never ask for money to help you get a refund. They will never ask for your financial account numbers or other personal information and will not guarantee that you'll get your money back."
• In an August 2026 alert, the FTC warned that these scammers "might say they're with a government agency (even the FTC), a consumer advocacy group, or a law firm," and said: "Never pay up front for a refund…or for help getting one."

The FTC says to report recovery scams to ReportFraud.ftc.gov and your state attorney general. Before paying anyone who offers help, read when a lawyer helps after a scam, which explains the free routes and the red flags of fake lawyers.

Is a romance scam a federal crime?

A romance scam is the kind of scheme the federal wire fraud statute describes: a scheme to obtain money by false pretenses, carried out through interstate or foreign wire communications. The statute, 18 U.S.C. § 1343, provides:

"Whoever, having devised or intending to devise any scheme or artifice to defraud, or for obtaining money or property by means of false or fraudulent pretenses, representations, or promises, transmits or causes to be transmitted by means of wire, radio, or television communication in interstate or foreign commerce, any writings, signs, signals, pictures, or sounds for the purpose of executing such scheme or artifice, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than 20 years, or both."

The same section raises the maximum to a $1,000,000 fine or 30 years in prison if the violation "affects a financial institution" or involves benefits connected to a presidentially declared major disaster or emergency. Under 18 U.S.C. § 1349, anyone who "attempts or conspires" to commit wire fraud faces "the same penalties as those prescribed for the offense."

These are criminal statutes, and their penalties are fines and prison terms. Getting money back runs through the payment company you used and, if the scammer is prosecuted, the free victim routes described in our guide to when a lawyer helps.

Romance scam statistics

Figures below come from different reports that count different things. They overlap and should not be added together.

The IC3 defines its category as cases where a person "believes they are in a relationship (family, friendly, or romantic) and are tricked into sending money, personal and financial information, or items of value to the perpetrator or to launder money or items to assist the perpetrator," and says it "includes the Grandparent's Scheme." Our elder fraud guide covers grandparent scams.

How people paid romance scammers (FTC, 2022 data)

The FTC's February 2023 data spotlight on romance scams covers 2022. It is the source for the payment-method figures below; treat them as a 2022 snapshot, not current figures:

• "In 2022, nearly 70,000 people reported a romance scam, and reported losses hit a staggering $1.3 billion. The median reported loss: $4,400."
• Cryptocurrency and bank wires "together, they accounted for more than 60% of reported losses to romance scams in 2022."
• Gift cards were the most frequently reported payment method: "24% of people who reported losing money to a romance scam in 2022 said it was taken using gift cards."
• "40% of people who said they lost money to a romance scam last year said the contact started on social media; 19% said it started on a website or app."

By 2025, the FTC's April 2026 spotlight put the social media share at nearly 60%.

Related guides

• Scams and fraud: federal law and how to protect yourself
• How to get money back after a scam
• Where to report a scam
• Crypto and investment scams
• Money mule and fake check scams
• Sextortion scams
• Elder fraud
• When a lawyer helps after a scam

Last updated: October 2, 2026.

This article is general legal information, not legal advice. It covers US federal law and federal agency guidance as verified on October 2, 2026. For your specific situation, contact the bank or payment company you used, the agencies named above, or a lawyer licensed in your state.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the warning signs of a romance scam?

The FTC and FBI name a person who cannot meet in person, early talk of destiny or fate, requests to leave the dating site, attempts to isolate you from friends and family, a sudden crisis that needs money, and offers to help you invest in cryptocurrency. A request for money from someone you have not met in person is the clearest sign.

What should I do if I sent money to a romance scammer?

Stop sending money and stop contact. Call your bank or the payment company right away, tell them you paid a scammer and ask for a refund, as the FTC advises. Then report to ic3.gov and ReportFraud.ftc.gov and report the profile to the app or site.

Can I get my money back from a romance scammer?

Sometimes, depending on how you paid. The FTC says your money might be gone already, but it is always worth asking the company you used if there is a way to get it back. Ask quickly.

Where do I report a romance scam?

The FBI asks victims to report romance scams to its Internet Crime Complaint Center at ic3.gov. The FTC takes reports at ReportFraud.ftc.gov, and both agencies say to notify the dating site or app where the contact began.

Is a romance scam a federal crime?

A scheme to get money by false pretenses using interstate or foreign wire communications is wire fraud under 18 U.S.C. 1343, which carries up to 20 years in prison, or up to 30 years and a $1,000,000 fine if the violation affects a financial institution. Attempts and conspiracies carry the same penalties under 18 U.S.C. 1349.

Does a soldier need money to go on leave or get care packages?

No. The FTC says servicemembers never have to pay to get packages, food, medical treatment, or to take leave. Army CID warns that scammers use real soldiers' names and photos.

Can I get in trouble if a romance scammer used my bank account?

The FBI warns that acting as a money mule is illegal and punishable even if you are not aware you are committing a crime, and that mules may be held personally liable for repaying victims. Stop moving money, tell your bank, report to ic3.gov, and talk to a lawyer if law enforcement contacts you.

Is catfishing the same as a romance scam?

Not always. Catfishing is an informal term for using a fake identity online; a romance scam is a fake relationship used to get money or valuables, which the FBI describes as using the illusion of a romantic relationship to manipulate or steal from the victim.

How many romance scams are reported each year?

The FBI's IC3 received 23,159 confidence/romance complaints in 2025 with $929,287,469 in reported losses, a category that also includes grandparent scams. The FTC reported that romance scam losses reported to it rose 22% in 2025.